I wrote a poem recently and actually felt like sharing it! The exclamation is there because I usually don't feel like sharing my poetry, I often think it's corny and try hard but this is one of the few poems I wrote that didn't make me want to barf. I've been pushing myself to show up for my creative practice (not just the parts that I can vend), however that looks like. And lately, it's been looking like writing. I liked the poem so much I used it as part of my application to the Patricia Massey Momentum Award, hosted by Creative Alliance. Y'all, when I tell you I was SCRAMBLING to get the application done in time! I was working a bunch and stressing out about life, personally and geopolitically, and didn't have the focus to create all these new pieces in the midst of it all. I was also not taking my vitamin D enough, to my mom's chagrin. But after a phone call with a good new friend, thee incredible DJ Muse(O)Fire, I felt committed to get her done. Then more anxiety took over and... I missed the deadline. A few days later, my doomscrolling was interrupted by an insta post from Creative Alliance announcing that the deadline for said grant was extended!!!! I felt like the ancestors were truly looking out for me!! I locked in, finished my application and submitted it with literally a singular minute to spare.
Without further ado, here is the poem:
Still Grieving
I sank deeper under grief's crushing weight
Have I ever felt such hollowed depths before?
Few times I thought her grip loosened
But no, the undertow found me again
(and again)
Each swell:
an added perspective
a stone unturned
misread signals
bitterness returns
Each cycle I was forced to loosen my grip
Made a home in her waves and felt through the wet dark
Written by Danielle Kepeden and edited by Ray McKetty
This poem came about as I was reflecting on the shit show that was 2024-2025. Beautiful, fun and sweet things happened, but the years were marked with a lot of grief and loss that I'm still untangling, still processing. This year after my friend's and uncle's death anniversaries, which are kinda back to back before my birthday, I couldn't help to feel this heaviness I couldn't name. So many changes were also happening at the time, I couldn't tell what was what. While I often talk and think about grief, I too need to be reminded that it waxes and weens, like ocean waves. It never goes away, we just learn to grow around it, feel about it, and live alongside it.
Lately to support myself in my grief, I've been trying to lower my screen time and take deeper breaths, move my body to music and stretch more, being thankful and basking in the replenishing love of those who cherish me :)
Wishing you a good mourning.
Take care,
Danielle🌻
PS: Reishi and lavender are great plants to support you in your grief
PPS: Shoutout to Ray for the edits, they really took it up a notch! Check out his work, he's such a talented wordsmith and musician!
PPPS: I performed this at a friend (who is such a brilliant poet and artist btw! find Sekhani's new book on insta!) ’s bday open mic event and I still haven’t seen the video! I was so fucking nervous cuz I’m not one to share my poetry fr. But I’m tryna do the things that scare me or whatever cuz FUCK IT , who cares?🤷🏿♀️
if you felt moved by my words, support my artist journey: check out my site, purchase some art, donate to my artist journey and/or share with your network :) thank youuuuu
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